Signs of exhaustion appear at our house in mid-February.
Every year by then, my wife is getting tired. She rarely stays up
past 9:30. Her eyes, though still glinting with quick humor, are
dark. Weekday suppers have simplified to a bowl of pasta or a
can of soup. She's begun to forget small details, which frays her
nerves because normally her memory is razor-sharp.
It's not like this in September and October, even though the
routine is the same:
Up at 5:10 a.m. for everyperson's early morning, including
getting the 16-year-old out of bed and nutrition into his belly.
The difference for her is that he's the first of roughly 70
teenagers that day needing pointed attention to what he's doing
and how he's thinking and feeling about it.
They arrive at the high school about 6:45. This is a half-hour
earlier than contract requires. But in that half-hour a lot can get
done - photocopying, filling out forms, writing class notes or a
recommendation letter - which cannot be done after the halls fill
up by 7:20.
Teenagers filter in. Some want to chat, and she gives half her
attention to the chatter and half to the paperwork. Sometimes the
chatter is barely masking tears and so the form has to be filled
out later, which almost always means late this afternoon, or
tomorrow. Staunching tears is emotionally draining, and when it
happens first thing in the morning, the whole day is stained.
At 7:30, homeroom. Announcements are read. Jokes are told.
Attendance is taken. (Why is Bertrand absent again? He's going
to fail. I have to make sure guidance knows. Maybe I'll call his
mother.) Questions are answered - accurately, so that no one, for
example, gets stranded later without a ride home. Concentration
is critical.
At 7:40, the first 85-minute class begins. This is a one-act,
one-woman performance staged three or four times a day, five
days a week, September through June. She gives a presentation,
as orderly and sensible as possible, on a prepared topic before 20
or so distracted people. Professional speakers prepare a single
lecture in detail weeks in advance. Some famous ones are paid
nearly as much for one lecture to a quiet audience as the teacher
makes all year. And they don't have the teacher's responsibility
to make sure the audience remembers and understands some of
it. They don't have to devise novel ways of limiting dozing,
whispering, stealing pens, pulling hair, wandering around.
Sometimes disruptions involving defiance, belligerence and
unpredictable orneriness occur. Confrontations can be more
draining than consolations, and trickier because one incident can
trigger more confrontations. Simply stepping into the hall and
insisting that two boys stop wrestling and return to their
classroom can turn into a weeks-long dispute with a parent who
has been misled about what actually happened.
At 9:15, performance No. 2. At 10:35, a 22-minute lunch break.
The hall is so crowded it takes eight minutes to walk to the
lunch room, and eight minutes back.
So far, no mention has been made of sitting on a bathroom floor
holding a girl's shoulders while she weeps for her uncle who was
killed in Iraq. Or the boy who refused to take his hat off and
cursed so foully and threateningly the vice principal had to be
summoned. Or the mailbox note from the family who will be
vacationing in Aruba and must have their son's detailed
homework instructions this morning. These are real, not
hypothetical, examples.
Running on Empty
After lunch a "prep period" is in the schedule. But today a
meeting has been called. Today no papers will be graded or
preparations for tomorrow's class made during contract time.
The meeting is boring, fatiguing, filled with veiled and mostly
unaddressable recriminations. Then, performance No. 3.
By contract, teachers may leave school at 2:30. Unless
something else is required, like policing the halls, or attending a
meeting that may last to 4 or longer, or hearing the story of a
student success, which re-energizes everything when least
expected.
Then (since I work evenings) she drives to her own son's music
and athletic events. When she arrives home between 3:30 and
6:30, no papers have been graded and none of tomorrow's classes
has been prepared. Between about 7 and 9 she reads quizzes, fills
out paperwork, sketches tomorrow's classes, (calls Bertrand's
mother).
This weekend she'll read essays and work on the accreditation
report that has occupied many Sundays in the past year. She'll
start figuring out how to meet Learning Results and No Child
Left Behind revisions she heard about last week; she'll note that
previous revisions she spent months devising are now worthless.
She'll consume Advil and Airborne hoping to quell the cold she
inhaled from one of the hundreds of people - many who haven't
learned even basic hygiene - that she shares air with every day.
By February, with four months to go in the school year, she and
her conscientious colleagues are physically and emotionally
drained.
Businesses have stresses and difficulties too, of course.
Businesspeople and employees work hard and grow tired. But
the activities of business are of an order of interaction, influence
and outcome completely different from that of schools. On
teachers' shoulders lie responsibilities so bound up with the
future - of both individuals and the community - that every
interaction, every day, can make or break a whole life.
© Dana Wilde , Bangor Daily News, 2007.